


Charred

by Larxicana



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crowley's falling, M/M, Present Tense, bit of humor at the end, falling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-27 20:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20413822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larxicana/pseuds/Larxicana
Summary: “It’s like… during your entire existence as an angel, you’re lighter than air. You float through Heaven, through the cosmos, through time itself, but then one day… you do something that makes you so heavy, that you become aware of how light you were."**Under the stars on a quiet night out in the country, Crowley tells Aziraphale what falling had been like.(It has a happy ending I promise.)





	Charred

Aziraphale has always been curious about what it was like for Crowley when he fell. The idea terrified him, and for thousands of years he's tried to always do the right thing, stay in Her good graces so he wouldn't have to experience the same thing. However, he can't help but be curious. He wants to ask, but that seems too personal and intimate. What if it was painful for him? What if it made him sad? It would be incredibly insensitive to ask such a thing, so he never does. He decides that if Crowley ever wants to tell him, he will in his own time.

Well, that time comes one night when they're drinking a nice Merlot under the stars far in the country, where there's hardly any light pollution. Crowley is pointing out which ones he had a hand in making, telling him stories about what it was like, how he crafted colors from nothing, mixed and experimented, until nebulas and galaxies exploded before him, bringing light to an otherwise very dark world. Aziraphale smiles, "It almost sounds like you enjoyed your time as an angel."

Crowley shrugs and puts his hands behind his head, not answering him really, just saying "Eh, doesn't really matter how I felt about it. I never really fit in up there with the others. Asked too many questions."

The angel goes quiet for a moment then glances over at him. He's not wearing his glasses, showing his golden, serpent eyes. He wonders what color they were before he fell. "Crowley," he starts, but hesitates.

The demon looks at him, takes in his expression, then says "You want to know what it was like to Fall.” It wasn't a question. He knows.

"Y-you don't have to!" Aziraphale says quickly, "If it's too painful for you, I completely understand."

Crowley gives him a little smile that speaks more than his words could, then looks back up at the stars. He’s quiet for a long moment before he says, “It’s like… during your entire existence as an angel, you’re lighter than air. You float through Heaven, through the cosmos, through time itself, but then one day… you do something that makes you so heavy, that you become aware of how light you were. It was like this massive force was _pulling_ me down to Hell. I didn’t just… trip and fall, me and the others were… _dragged_ down, so fast, so heavy.”

His gaze becomes blind as he thinks back on how that felt. “We were going so fast that we were literally starting to burn. I remember looking over and watching as a few of the others burn up beside me. They weren’t strong enough to withstand the heat and turned black, screaming as they were burned to ash and scattered in the wind. My wings had caught fire, feathers flying everywhere. It hurt like nothing I had ever felt before. I thought I was going to lose them.

“Then suddenly, the few of us who made it, were crashing through rock and earth, but that didn’t slow us down. Some of the other angels that survived the burning didn’t make it on the impact. They were too weak or too broken. Those of us who made it through the rock were hit with the intense heat of the fires in Hell. The sulfuric fumes burned my eyes and made them bleed. I closed them and the next thing I knew I was taking a nose dive right into a pool of boiling sulfur. It burned my lungs, my face, my skin... I managed to break the surface and drag myself onto a rock edge.” He tips his head back a little, “I remember looking up and watching angels continue to fall, fluttering and twisting in the air like leaves in the breeze. I couldn’t even see Heaven’s light anymore. There was nothing but the shadows cast on the walls and the screaming of the others.”

Aziraphale is horrified. He lays there on his back and listens, staring up at the sky blindly. He feels his eyes water at just the _thought_ of Crowley being in such pain, being so scared, and for what? Asking questions? He was such a good person, loving mankind with all of his being. Aziraphale sits up quickly to lean over him. Crowley blinks a few times in surprise as he comes back to himself. He frowns and looks worried when he sees the tears, blinking when one hits his cheek. “Angel?”

Aziraphale drops himself into his chest and clings to him. He buries his face into his neck, relishing in the warmth and scent of his body. “I’m so sorry…” He whispers, shaking his head, “I-I didn’t… I had no _idea…_!”

“Hey hey hey…” Crowley wraps his arms around him, rubbing circles into his back. “Come on, don’t cry. You’re gonna get my shirt all wet…” He frowns, “You couldn’t have expected it to be a happy story. She isn’t very kind to those who defy Her.”

“No, I-I know, but…” the angel grips his shirt tighter, “It breaks my heart to know you went through something like that, all because you were curious.”

Crowley shrugs, “At the time, that’s all it took. She wanted your complete and utter loyalty, no matter what She asked of you.”

They lapse into silence with only the angel sniffling every now and then. The demon continues to hold him as he sits up slowly, causing the angel to as well. Aziraphale rubs at his eyes, but looks up when Crowley nudges his chin up. He’s smiling that soft smile he doesn’t show very often and only when it’s just the two of them. “Come on, no more crying. I don’t regret any of it, ya know. Wanna know why?” He takes one of his hands to hold, “Because if I didn’t Fall, then I would never have met you on the wall of the garden all those years ago, and that right there, _this right here,_ makes all of that suffering worth it.” He brushes away his tears with his free hand. “Besides, falling the second time was a lot less painful.”

“Falling… a second time?” Aziraphale asks quietly, confused.

“For _you,_ silly angel.”

The blonde’s eyes widen a little, mouth moving with no sound. Crowley leans forward to kiss him softly to stop his floundering for words, brushing his thumb gently over his ear. Aziraphale takes a small gasp in through his nose, but slowly melts into the touch and returns his kiss. He moves one hand to the back of his neck lightly, and the other to his chest to rest against his beating heart, a reminder that he was still alive and alright, despite what happened to him. “I never want you to suffer like that again,” the angel tells him when they separate, looking into his golden eyes. “I just wish we could have met some other way.”

Crowley shrugs and makes a face, “Nah. Terribly dull, being an angel. Besides, I could only handle Gabriel for a few decades before I’d willingly throw myself into sulfur.” They share a quiet chuckle at this.

Settling back down again, Aziraphale wiggles into his side and gazes up at the stars, holding his hand. He points up with his free one, “Tell me about that one.” He says.

“The one that looks like a penis?”

“It is not a penis!”

Crowley snickers, “That’s what you think, but you weren’t there when I made it.”


End file.
